Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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