is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
