Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
