Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
