whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
