She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
