Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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