Barsexuality is the new black.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
