you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
