No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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