Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
