Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
