does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
