No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
