Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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