would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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