I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
