so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
