i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
