her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
