i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
3 2 1 whiskey
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
