It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
