I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize