Don't you send me to vm
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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