Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize