He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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