community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
