I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just threw up on my dentist
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize