All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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