i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize