had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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