Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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