And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
