You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
