Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You took a bar mat shot.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
