I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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