we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
