I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize