Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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