So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
someone owes me an orgasm
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize