He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
