i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
