Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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