I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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