Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
