in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
