Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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