So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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