fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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