Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
