last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
