At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
