I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
