So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
