we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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