at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
