I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
