if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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