So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
