i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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