she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
