So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.