what if I'm pregnant?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.