Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
