I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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